the feminine side of things

I got to visit my precious Son! He looks fabulous and lives in an awesome "loft" in downtown Kansas City. Katie and I took it upon ourselves to do some decorating - you know add a feminine touch to things. It's is amazing what two women can accomplish in 36 hours. Let's figure this deal out - 13 hours sleeping, 6 hours eating, 3 hours movie watching, 4 hours decorating (1 hour was used in the most economical sense possible), 5 hours shopping, 6 hours misc. (driving, talking, showering, etc). No time to waste time. I want to comment on the hours spent eating - it was excessive! In every sense of the word. Too much time, too much money, too much food. My goodness! But not too much company - never enough of that. My favorite moment? Spent at the Chinese retaurant laughing our toosh's off because of some peach tea they served with blueberries? at the bottom and huge fat straws. The purpose (ours anyway) was to suck the berry through the straw. Bobby did it, then me, then Kate. We each accomplished our task and Bobby began to drink the tea as any normal person would. I reminded him of the backwash from the three of us and the drink sat there the rest of the evening. No one in our party wanted the backwashed, peach, blueberry sucking tea. At one point my mouth was full of a very sticky brownie and we laughed, laughed, and laughed. It was a magical moment, the kind you aren't priviledged enough to have but a few times in your life. Every smile present was genuine and heart felt and spontaneous. All because of some silly blueberries. Have I mentioned how difficult I'm finding my state of perimenopause? My emotions are all over the place ~ and moment by moment. A psychiatrist, at some points in time, might be inclined to diagnose me bi-polar! If this is anything like the genuine illness, I can see why people take their own life!! The phrase, "just shoot me" comes to mind. So does Dr. Kervorkian. Joking aside, it is disturbing that I can cry at the drop of a hat or laugh at my own jokes. All of this within the same breath. And each raw feeling is real. I really feel the deal. John seems to think as long as I "recognize it's a chemical imbalance" it will be okay. HE'S not ready for me to seek medical advise. Spoken like a man's man. Ahhhh...we'll see how this plays out. I still miss my friend. But I think it's because I'm crying and everything seems larger than it really is. Six days....maybe I'll be okay in six more.